I hit a bird on the way to work this morning.

It was shocking; I've never hit a living creature with my car before. I feel really awful about it, and I cried a little -- not because I hit it, but because I didn't go back. And that tiny, sodden thump kept echoing in my ears, and the way it fluttered as it tumbled up and over the hood. And I wish I had gone back to see it was okay, but I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't. Put it out of its misery? Take it home and try to splint it? The cats would've loved that. I remember finding a broken-winged pigeon when I was about twelve or thirteen, and I bundled it up in a handkerchief, and had my stepmother drive me over to the Nature Lady's place. She was a woman who lived in Wilmette and took care of injured animals. I don't know of anything like that around here.

What made it even worse, I think, was about a minute before I hit it becki and I were joking about how hard it is to hit a bird. And I did slow down; I braked when I saw it wasn't going to fly up, but it hit the hood anyhow.

I'm going to feel bad about this all day, and the worst part is not knowing. I didn't kill it, but the thought of hurting it and leaving it for a slow death, or getting truly run over, makes me feel like the worst person alive. That, and the fact that I would have stopped if it were a cat or a dog. At least I can say for certainty this sparrow wasn't anyone's beloved pet. >.<

Okay, enough about the bird.

Kristi, thank you for mentioning Deuce Bigalow! I had to go and rent it Friday. Normally I don't like that kind of movie (the crass and vulgar humor part) but I enjoyed it. ^_- And not just because of Oded Fehr. (The hottie.)

We also rented "Rear Window" on DVD, and I liked it. I don't think it was the best of Hitchcock's movies, though.

Saturday, I played catch-up with bills, mail, alumni stuff (my parents finally brought my diploma, last-semester grades, and alumni crap A YEAR after I graduated!!) etc. Some e-mail, not much ficking was accomplished. What did I do Saturday night? *draws blank* Oh yeah!

Saturday night and Sunday morning, I went on a major "Chrono Cross" kick. Granted, this may not be exciting to anyone but me and becki, but I finished my first not-New Game + game (after what, gee, seven months? ^^;;). I played it before with her brother's New Game +, and was lazy in finishing my own initial New Game. And hot DAMN, does "Chrono Cross" have plot holes!

Harle: Moi is going to speak very fast now, mon cher, in a terrible French accent which moi did not have een ze Japanese version in ze hope zat you will not realise zees convoluted dialogue is, in fact, quite plotless!

Belthasar: [appearing at the end] Serge, I will now speak cryptically of things anyone who hasn't played Chrono Trigger will have only a sketchy grasp of, which have been methodologically transplanted into the matrices of this entertainment software, for the sole but universally-vital intention of justifying said software's nomenclature.

They needed to simplify a few things and stop trying to make it look so impressive. ^^;; On the other hand, I love the character designs for most of the guys -- Serge, Nikki, Karsh, and Glenn most notably. There are a TON of characters, some of which I avoid because they're not cute, but I'm sure macho guys don't mind playing -- like Greco, the wrestler-turned-exorcist, or Zoah, (*shudder*) a helmeted mountain of muscle. I like the battle system, too, with Elements. Acquiring the cash to forge Rainbow items drove me nuts. AND the fact that you lose your hard-earned summon elements -- Mothership, Sonja, Unicorn -- in your New Game + drove me mad. (I think I remember shouting curses.)

Anyhoo, the upshot of this is I think I'll be going back and finishing a couple of my Chrono Cross stories that have been sitting on the back burner since...urgh, November or December. They're yaoi, of course, and can be found on my Miscellanous page, for those interested. (I can't vouch for quality, I never did go revise them.)

This is leading up to something. ^^ Becki and I went to go see "The Mummy Returns" for...yes, a THIRD time! I love it, in all of its cheezy glory. Oded Fehr looks simply gorgeous on that movie. Generally, I don't go for men with facial hair. I have a hard time imagining him without his goatee, though, and his character Ardeth Bay is...*grinnnnnnn* Umm. I like him. *^_^* Becki likes him, too. *^^*

So...okay, I have absolutely no self-control. And becki is egging me on. As soon as I finish "Incentive to Dream," which will probably be today (it's that close to being finished) I will prolly start some Ardeth Bay fanfiction. >.> Becki might co-write. <.< We can't wait until "Mummy Returns" comes out on DVD. >.< I'm really far gone, aren't I?

Here I am at work, and I finished my Project today. There's the usual happy glow of satisfaction. There's the slight dread of the fact that virtually all the other non-essential staff have been let go. I talked with my Supervisor, and he's confused. There are a couple of other projects they could give me, but don't know if they will be doing so or not. (This company is so fscked up, it's not even funny.) So...*wide eyes* I get to hang around until they decide what to do with me. >.> I don't get this place.

Meanwhile, I'm still here, still drawing a paycheck, and I am NOT complaining.

A bit confused, tho'.

Elysaar! *GLOMPhughughughughughug* I hope you feel better. I do. Let me know if you need a sympathetic ear, 'cause I've been through something very similar, and I have been there, and I understand.

Janie!! You're not blogging anymore! You tell Brian I'm gonna start throwing rocks at HIM! Ch'! And he made a fuss 'cause, for one night, you didn't hang out with them? *inarticulate gurgle* We wanna see more fic~! *mournful puppy eyes*

Weird hits lately... Japanese Meeting Etiquette. They must have been SO confused when they got to my blog; Yahoo doesn't take them straight to the relevant entry. *snerk* I'm spelling this next one out: d-i-g-i-m-o-n e-x-p-l-i-c-i-t Y-A-O-I d-o-u-j-i-n-s-h-i. ;.; (I wonder if spelling it out helps?) Thing is, I go take a look at the cached entry, and wonder why on earth they clicked on it. O.o People, if you want doujinshi, go to e-bay. I don't have any. Well, I do, but it's not for sale. And it's not Digimon. And none of it is explicit. o.O And ficking. In German. Ooo-kay. And Yaoiland got a hit from a Japanese-language index page. ^^ WTF!?

I'm done here. My evil deeds need accomplishing. A couple of different RPs are calling my name, too.

Oh, and remind me never to take becki to a Thai restaurant, ever again. >.> I'll get carry-out next time. She couldn't EAT anything! She couldn't order anything. -.-;;; I felt really awful. But I DID give her the option to eat at the Old Chicago restaurant. >.> I shouldn't have taken it at face value when she said "whatever you want." O.o Am I turning into a guy??

*looks down* Um. No chance of that. I'm a big-breasted blonde. Maybe THAT'S the problem.

*makes mental note not to giggle, ever again*

Listening to: A local radio station. ;.;
Playing: "Chrono Cross." Ficking will result.
State of Mind: Ready for lunch...damn.