kawaii ne?



    Bah.

    Gaoooooouu. Gaooooouu. Well, it's impossible to get Dencity to work properly so I can make updates. It's just not happening. I had everything set to upload, too. *squinch* Well, maybe tomorrow.

    So, I'ma say 'oyasumi nasai, minna-san,' and post what I got done of "Anfang" ch.8 to tayfic and shut 'er down. Then pop in the "Aliens" special edition DVD; I can't wait to see those seventeen extra minutes of footage. *sparkle*

    Night, all! *wavewave*

    Watching: Becki cursing lyrically at FF8 and talking to Squall.
    Playing: With Yohji's head. It's fun.
    State of Mind: Frustrated.

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Saturday, May 19, 2001 09:26 p.m..




    Well, it's a start.

    Spent this morning answering twenty mails; now I've got thirty-two left to go, *not* including personal mails and a couple of horribly delayed betas. >.< Leareth, Kay, I AM sorry. This is why I'm a retired beta reader.

    *awed* I had mail with mold on it...from November. I need to get off my lazy arse and answer mail every weekend. >.<

    So, for everyone who reads my blog and has mailed me, I'm sorry! ^_^ I'm still playing catch-up, and I am trying.

    Watching: "Pay it Forward" on DVD. LOVE Kevin Spacey!
    Playing: with my cat. He does Not Play Well With Others.
    State of Mind: Just about lunch time, I'd say.

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Saturday, May 19, 2001 01:31 p.m..




    And one thing more!

    Okay, two.

    First, at Silver's Soliloquy, go read "The Love that Dared Not Show Its Face, an excellent article about homosexual subtext that's been cut out or downplayed in cinema for years. YEARS.

    Second... ICEBREAKERS~! WOOHOO~! YAY~! *does loop-de-loops*(Which means, 'I recommend you read it now, if you like "CCS" at ALL. It's linked off Meg-san's blog.) Meg-san, we won't hurt you, but we may threaten to hunt you down and capture you for a little while. n.n

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Friday, May 18, 2001 11:58 a.m..




    Head for the hills! It's cold season~!

    Not only do people have to deal with allergies, but people all around me are falling sick. I'm gonna go find a bomb shelter and squirrel myself away for the weekend. No, damn, that won't work -- becki's getting a cold too, which guarantees by next weekend I'll need that cure-all achy sniffly sneezy so-you-can-rest medicine. >.< Either that or beer. And beer is bad for me. So I really shouldn't. (Wait, let me check the alcohol content in NyQuil again; I may reconsider.)

    Short entry! Because I vowed to myself I would finish proofreading "Anfang" ch.7 today, and properly start "Anfang" ch.8 like I promised myself. Oh, and the feedback rant is down there, yesterday's entry. I read through it and I still stand by what I wrote. *niko* Not only that, but apparently more than one person has linked the entry. O.o Thank you.

    Saa! Neko-chan mentioned becki and me in her recent interview for ff.net! I am blushing. She had a chance to mention a few names, and she dropped ours. ^_^ Sankyuu, Neko-chan. *HUGS THE LIFE OUTTA YOU!!* I would never cannibalize you. *nadenade* I do hope they let you know about summer school.

    Frank, Tin, thankee. And Frank, you don't have to write well, or even C&C per se. As Elysaar was saying, just a simple "Hey! Good job!" or "Whoa! I almost sprayed my monitor with Pepsi!" is usually sufficient. *niko*

    Kowai yo. But not as scary as Dom's vibrating sheep of doom.

    Now, I'm going to scamper. I've got lots to do, and lots to read -- Meg-san posted Icebreakers 2! WAI~! Go to her blog and follow the link! And Sadie DragonFire posted the next part of "Protective Bonds" on HP-slash! Bliss!

    And for a wonder, after I've read those, I AM going to take a few extra minutes instead of going on to the next task, and click "reply" to say something, anything, no matter how stupid or incoherent. Because I appreciate both authors very VERY much, and I'd better say so. *^_^*

    There will be no blogging this weekend, of course. ^^ We've got "The Bouncer" and DVDs - "Charlie's Angels," "Nurse Betty," "Pay it Forward," possibly one other, ficking, and the arrival of furniture to keep us occupied. (I'm not talking in third person, I mean me'nbecki.) I also have to catch up on mail and RP-posting, prioritizing roughly in that order.

    HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!

    Listening to: "Believe in," Masaki Nomiyama, "Saiyuki" Image Album vol.1 I LOVE Nomiyama-kun.
    Playing: "The Bouncer," third replay, kicking ASS with Shion.
    State of Mind: Jubilant.

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Friday, May 18, 2001 07:10 a.m..




    Brace yourselves...

    THIS is going to be a rant, and an impassioned one at that.

    When I first began blogging, it seemed like a good idea. And I think it is, because according to my tracker, a lot of people do indeed read this little forum for my thoughts. And a lot of you are my readers. Some of you aren't; you're just blog-surfers. You're excused; the rest of this rant probably won't interest you, in any case.

    This rant is about FEEDBACK. And most of you aren't giving it, whether it's to me, or to my author-friends, or to that story you read yesterday on a mailing list and thought "hey, that's a really good story." I wasn't going to blog today -- or if I was, it was going to be a few links out of an e-mail from HP-slash. But I checked one of my other mailing lists, and the dismal lack of feedback from a fic I posted two days ago is what convinced me. Since it's been two days, I know that one glowing e-mail (which, happily, also pointed out a mistake I'd made) I got is 'bout all I'm gonna get.

    I'm not going to beg for feedback. That's not what this is about. I know that the story was good, but it has points for improvement - I desperately need to work on POV in the first page, for instance. This is an impassioned rant on the subject, and I agree with many points. Don't be afraid to write us, say hello, tell us what you liked, even point out a few things you didn't. I LOVE FEEDBACK. Any feedback. Flames amuse me; I show them to becki, chortle, and delete them. Even that raving e-mail I got yesterday morning asking if I was depressed when I wrote "To Bury the Hurt of Memory" was kind of fun. (I wasn't depressed; the fic demanded to be written.) It's the constructive stuff we really love, though.

    I've been writing and posting fanfiction for over three years, just plain writing for much longer, and at this point I'm getting a small trickle of feedback, and the only constructive criticism that comes in is from my author-friends or author-acquaintances. Or when I club someone over the head and drag them into beta-reading for me. ^_^;;; And that's no fun. I love constructive criticism; I strive to improve constantly as an author. Example: I have roughly a hundred and forty people on my mailing list, and only one of them writes me regularly -- and that's Elysaar, and I cherish her feedback. I've had spotty e-mails from other members of the list, and I appreciate the handful of people who took the time to drop a line and say, "Hi! I'm X, and I joined your list! I enjoy your fiction! I like your style because..." and things like that. And the brave people who wrote after a particular story and said, "Hi! I got that recent story of yours, and...well, it was kinda squicky!" ...I'm glad they told me what they really thought. (And to tell the truth, writing that particular story squicked me out, too. I don't think I'll write one like it again.)

    Why isn't anyone e-mailing me? It takes time, I know. And sometimes courage. I really had to nerve myself the first time I wrote WhiteCat. Now we're excellent friends - she's my neko-mouto! and she may come to visit this summer, school willing. ^_^ But I'm not asking for that kind of a relationship with all my readers. Lord knows, it would be impossible. I had to really nerve myself to express appreciation of Sahari's "Court of Eternity," but I wrote, she replied, and I think I still have the reply in a folder somewhere...not because I need to reply to it, but because it's a good feeling, getting mail like that. Because she wrote and expressed her opinion on "The Willow Key," and I hadn't even known she was reading it.

    A couple of other essays/rants on feedback...

      Debchan's entry on feedback, forums, etc.
      Janet's column on the subject.
      A rant on lack of feedback, short, but a good summary.
      Talk to Me is another rant which brings up the whys, why people don't, goods, and bads of feedback. I like this one especially, because it tries to present both sides, reader and author.
      Beta-reading...slightly off the rant subject matter, but I'm still searching for one or two long-term beta readers who will be willing to put up with proofreading more than just the odd story here and there. ^_^;;;; Then again, I have to overcome the fact that I feel like I'm imposing.
      On Feedback, by Susan. An excellent article on the subject of feedback.
      How to Piss Off an Author With Your Feedback ...I've gotten every single type of e-mail they're describing. Sometimes in volume. The ones I hate the most are the 'referrals' and the 'suggestors.' I don't really know how to respond to those. Add another category to that - the 'archivers.'

    Those are enough links for now. *sigh* This is not a begging blog. I do not demand feedback to write -- I write because I have to. I can't stop. (Sometimes I try.) I need feedback to improve, certainly, and about 95% of my e-mails aren't about that. I enjoy getting appreciative feedback -- who doesn't? I'm not going to quit posting, I just want to know that there are still people out there who are actually reading. Like the person who wrote me the other day and noticed Gojyou was smoking Marlboros and not Hi-Lites -- Marlboros are Sanzou's brand. (Thank you; I changed that.) Or the four people who wrote offering to tell me about Wicca because I made an offhand reference to needing info for a story the other day. (Thank you to each and every one.)

    I try to respond to every single mail I get. (Sometimes even the flamers, if it was a coherent flame.) Right now, I'm really behind - but I do have a folder of everything that hasn't been replied to, and I will eventually sit down and reply to each and every one. Even if it's not much more than "Thanks for writing! I appreciate the time you took to drop a line," and an answer to any question you had.

    This brings me to archiving. I think archiving requests are one of my largest category of e-mails. I'm going to post up an official policy on archiving, which I should have done a long time ago. My attitude on archiving generally depends on my mood at the time, the tone of the letter, and the position of the moon in the sky. (No joke.) So I really should set it down in stone somewhere. UNLESS IT'S GUNDAM WING, send me the link to your site, and I'll go check it out. (I still have at least five mails I need to do this for, and I'm sorry.) If the website is presentable, I'll give my okay -- and I ask for an e-mail link, AND a website link, because chances are if you don't link to my site, they'll e-mail me demanding where it is. ^_^;;;; If it IS Gundam Wing fic you want to archive, I'm probably going to point you to Tyr's "Gundam Wing Addiction" page. Tyr has done a good job archiving my stuff. I'm happy with the way it is; so much so that I haven't recovered my own Gundam Wing page.

    Well, one more link. *niko* "What is C&C?"

    Question: "But, Talya, do you give C&C?" (You stinking, filthy hypocrite, you. Geez, do you even practice what you preach?)

    Answer: "Yes, but not as often as I should." In a lot of cases, with younger authors I'm afraid of being too honest. I went through a period myself where a thorough C&C left me feeling as if my skin had been flayed...and it was an established author of one of my early fandoms, so it felt doubly scathing. Looking back, I wish I could thank her and grab her to pre-read my stuff today. Ack, I got off-track. Yes, I do attempt to express appreciation when I've read a good thing. Sometimes I have to psych myself up. "Ooh, she's really good - I don't know her - ack, how can I write her!?"

    Recent good reads that I need to reply to, and will probably do today or tomorrow: "Four Quarters - All Around the Circle" by MJJ on the Saiyuki18 mailing list, "Mystic Eyes" on the CFFML, some stuff off the HP-slash list, "Bivium," posted by Keruri on YSML-fic, and some of Meg-san's fanfiction. ^________________________^

    This is mostly a loose and uncollected rant, but it's my weblog. I may use this as some form of essay and post it up on my site. Then again... *wince*

    I'm done. I think I'm done. I may have already said too much.

    Listening to:
    Playing: "The Bouncer," third replay, powering up Shion.
    State of Mind: Creative.

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Thursday, May 17, 2001 07:13 a.m..




    "She toyed with her beads Jadedly."

    I love Edward Gorey. That's what today's quote is from - my little desk calendar that one of my supervisors gave me. ^_^

    Said supervisor is a terrific person, but today she spilled coffee over a portion of the project I've been working on. @.@ Good thing there was nothing that was all-the-way ruined. She even bought me a new cup of coffee; what a sweetie.

    So, since I've just been told I don't have a time frame for this project or the other stuff, I've come back to blog for the day. ^_^ Even though I really have nothing noteworthy to blog about. This is time to trot out one of the random musings I've had, but hadn't yet had the leisure to drag it out and discuss it.

    And now that I'm ready for it, I've forgotten it. Go figure.

    I had one reflective internal dialogue with myself in the car regarding CLAMP, but it's gone. I think the gist of it was that they really can't make their shounen-ai implications explicit now that they've gone commercial because the way they portray them in the manga - an implicit private relationship - is the way it is in Japan. It happens. No one knows. If they know, they don't talk about it.

    It's dangerous to have the web at your fingertips; I am so, soooo tempted to buy PSOH on DVD. *whimper* I want it, BADLY. Leareth-dachi speak so temptingly of manga. Manga is the best way to reel me into a series. That, and I adore beautiful cross-dressing men. And if I hadn't already bought two things on E-bay this month, I might go ahead and buy the PSOH DVD. Does anyone want to buy a used, but excellent-condition Nintendo 64 with two controllers, a generic Rumble Pak, an expansion pack, and three barely-used games? (Tetris, Ocarina of Time, and Star Wars Racers) Make me an offer. Please? I'd sell it on E-bay, but I can get local store credit if no one wants it. *_*

    *sigh* I may as well start compiling wish-lists for my relatives...

    Thank you to EVERYONE who e-mailed me about their willingness to tell me all about Wicca! ^_____________^ I feel so loved. And Janie, you are a doll and a treasure for offering to do research for me. I would never make you do that, but rest assured I'll be pumping you for info. As of yet, my idea is in the outline stages, but I feel the need to jot down certain key ideas today. It's loosely based on a trilogy of L.J. Smith's.

    Russell, the technical writer, passed me in the hallway muttering something. Then he turned to me and said, "Why do writers always talk to themselves?"

    I could've had fun with that one. Instead of answering with random anecdotes on Voices or Muses, I just replied, "Because we have certain ideas we just need to bounce off ourselves." He agreed this was true.

    I finished "The Bouncer" last night. MAN, is it short! If I'd known Dauragon really WAS--*clapshandsovermouth* Sorry, I'm bad with spoilers. Anyhow!! Kou is really cool! Ya know the freaky part? His seiyuu plays Farfarello in "Weiss Kreuz." That was a real mind-bender. And Dauragon's seiyuu is Vicious from "Cowboy Bebop," as well as Takatori Reiji from "Weiss Kreuz." *blinkblink* Farfarello and Takatori... Anyhow. ^_^ Shion's seiyuu (I REFUSE to spell it 'Sion' when they're saying Shion) is achingly familiar, but he wasn't in the seiyuu database...same case for Volt. I'm going to have lots of fun replaying "The Bouncer" at least six or seven times, trouncing its ass even harder with every successive replay. Funny, I thought I was bad at fighting games, but I didn't do too badly! (Now, don't go bursting my bubble by telling me it WAS an easy game. I realize this.)

    Random *tackleNEKO-GLOMPpurrrrr*!!! Take that! ^________________^ Tay-neechan loves you. Maybe a visit this summer? No?

    Ooh! Take a look at this comic strip. Well, it's kind of a comic strip. I found the subdirectory courtesy of Ragabash-san. I laughed for about ten minutes reading through all of them. I love CLAMP...hate CLAMP...fear CLAMP...and still spend money on their manga, artbooks, you name it. (At least $200 last year, including CDs, wall scrolls, anime episodes...) We are helpless in their thrall.

    I'd be rich if it weren't for anime/manga. But would I be happy?

    Nah, I'd prolly be living in a basement apartment in Chicago, working an entry-level crap position with no koibito to come home to, and parents who visited every weekend.

    *shudders violently*

    I'm gonna go proofread some stuff now. *^_^* And then, perhaps it will inspire me to work on "Anfang" ch.8. It's winning in the quizlet again, by two percentage points again. How exciting! It keeps seesawing between that and "A Little Bit Like Dracula." ^_^

    In the realm of Randomosity, if I ask people nicely to sign my Guestbook and even provide them with that handy little link, do you think they'll do it? *flutters eyelashes*

    Would it work for becki's Guestbook, too?

    And one more thing!! I need to write something short, funny, and Weiss Kreuz. Any suggestions?

    Listening to: "Babyface," U2, "Zooropa."
    Playing: "The Bouncer," second replay, beefing up Volt.
    State of Mind: *bounceybounceybouncey*

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Wednesday, May 16, 2001 09:25 a.m..




    Who could ask for anything more?

    We resigned da lease~!! And we don't take a rent increase~! *yodels* THAT was something I wasn't expecting.

    I've got (almost) every reason to be feeling good. Well, except these ten-hour work days to make up for time I missed during Mom's visit. Went to the dentist last Thursday, and despite the fact that I hadn't been in two years, my teeth are in great shape, only one cavity and it's a wisdom tooth that gets pulled next month. ^_^ Yay. And now that Mom's gone, it's kick back with a pack of beer and play "The Bouncer" in the evenings. ^_________^

    I finished "On Those Rainy Nights," my Saiyuki fic, and posted to tayfic, Saiyuki18, and the YSML. I expect to post it to my site within the week. It's actually a pre-slash fic, which means there's nothing more than some overtones here and there. O.o Someone who's not into yaoi could read it, I think, and enjoy it just fine. Next up: "Anfang" chapter eight, and...er, I'm thinking about starting an original story that's been messing with my head for about a week. The only problem is I know very little about Wicca.

    I won the Saiyuki original TV soundtrack and the Saiyuki Image Album vol.2 off e-bay, so that lifted my spirits, too. ^_________^ Now, NO MORE e-baying until after Yaoicon! That is my resolution!

    Well...*scrapes toe*...unless they put up some Saiyuki doujinshi. Other than that Hakkai/Yaone which made me run screaming in terror at the thought.

    Anyone wanna buy me a keychain? C'mon, I know you want to.

    All right, enough self-torture. Today's Megatokyo was frightening, and I'm left wondering if it was an actual dialogue between Dom and Piro, or not. It's the possibility that it WAS that made me laugh so hard...

    Krisit, E-HUGS!! E-HUGS!! I hope your week goes better than you expect.

    Yaoi-friendly spotlight for the week: Drawing Blood by Poppy Z. Brite. I adore this book, I've read it three times so far, and will do so again, I'm sure. The relationship between Trevor and Zack drew me in and held me under. She also wrote "The Crow: The Lazarus Heart," a book which "The Crow: Salvation" the movie stole --er, borrowed-- heavily from. *snicker* But in "The Lazarus Heart," the protagonist and his lover were both male. Gee, wonder why that didn't make it into the script?

    Err...have I rambled long enough? I still have over three hours of work left...gawd, I have to get something productive done today or I'll shoot myself. I've been reading Boy Meets Boy way too often over the past week.

    Ooh, one more thing - "The Bouncer!" I love it. This is a fine example of what can be done with the PS2. I adore Kou, I think Volt is really cool, and I'm tolerating Shion until I get to know him better. For a wonder, I actually REALLY LIKE Dominique, the main female character of the game. I thought I'd hate her at first. Becki thinks Dauragon is Sephiroth and Seifer's love-child. He's kicking my ass. >.< It's a back-to-back fight against Dauragon twice, they don't let you replenish HP, and...I don't want to *have* to get the strategy guide, but Kou is my best character and he's been trounced six or seven times. Once the rental expires, I'm sure I'll trot over to the video store to get a copy.

    Still contemplating new layout plans...I'll have to massively tweak the pictures of Eriol I have right now. *pensive* But it can be done...

    Listening to: "Sleeping Where I Want," Veruca Salt, "American Thighs."
    Playing: "The Bouncer."
    State of Mind: WHEE!!

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Tuesday, May 15, 2001 12:57 p.m..




    "And now for something completely different."

    I survived! She's gone! Whee!! *does a little happy dance* And becki survived, too. ^_^;; Really, all things considered, the other parental visit will be much less stressful -- they're spending the four nights at a hotel.

    Life may now return safely and peacefully to normal.

    I hate traffic. I spent a miserable total of two and a half hours in traffic today, driving tayMom to the airport, then slogging past the wretched Portland traffic to get to work. Ugh. This means I'll have to work ten-hour days for the next three days, because I have another project to work on.

    I would love to ramble on and on about my weekend, but I'm sure no one wants to hear it. ^_^ The highlights: made dinner for Mom three times, and she loved it. Saw about four movies on DVD, and they were fun. Went to Cannon Beach on Saturday, and it was lovely. Yesterday, took Mom to brunch at IHOP, and it was sweet -- the waitress brought her a rose after the meal.

    I will gloss over the details of Mom's incessant stream of criticism, both of myself and anything in our surroundings. That, and there were a few other tense moments of the weekend I'd rather not talk about.

    I rented "The Bouncer" and will probably be playing that tonight as part of an attempt to ingratiate myself with my koibito. I've got a lot of making up to do.

    So, yet again I'm very behind on my e-mail. I mean, I'm really, REALLY six feet under by now. Eventually, I may reach such a state of backlog I'll be saying, "that's it -- everything previous to today just isn't going to get answered; if it was really important, e-mail me again." I haven't reached that point yet, but I'm getting veeeeeery close. Not to mention I may be working overtime this week, so e-mail isn't high on the priority list.

    Neither is ficking, unfortunately, but if I work on anything, it'll be "Der Anfang und Das Ende," chapter eight. Right now it's winning by a single percentage point in the quizlet. And becki wants to see more of it, which is always important.

    Okay. *rubs hands together* I've got a lot to do. I don't expect to blog a whole lot this week -- in fact, I don't expect to be on the computer a whole lot this week; it's that kind of project.

    Mata ne~!

    Listening to: The sound of silence.
    Playing: "The Bouncer."
    State of Mind: Anxious.

    tay-chan felt the need to share at Monday, May 14, 2001 09:10 a.m..